Several years ago, when my children were all young, I had an experience that made such an impression on me that I couldn’t rest until I wrote it in my journal.  It was one of those times when something I knew in my mind was deeply felt in my heart. 

One spring day, I was folding laundry and watching through the window, as my four-year-old daughter and my two-year-old son played outside in the backyard.  After I finished my laundry, I went into the kitchen to find that the kids were at the table peeling a fresh tangerine from our tree.  They had left the back door wide open.  I closed the door and at that moment heard a loud THUNK against the family room window. 

Startled, I looked over to see a small bird flying around the room!  It flew at the window, again and again, poor thing!!  I quickly opened the back door and told the kids to come stand by me really quietly so we wouldn’t startle the bird.  After several tries, it finally figured out that flying through the window wasn’t going to work, and it flew up to the plant shelf to rest on a bouquet of flowers.  I felt so sorry for the little bird’s confusion and pain!

I racked my brain, trying to figure out the easiest way to get the bird to fly out the open door to freedom.  My little son thought it was fantastic to have a bird in the house, and he started screaming in delight.  That made the bird start flying around the room again (I’m sure a toddler’s scream is a terrifying sound to a bird).

Worried that the bird was going to fly down the hall towards the bedrooms, and then we would really have a hard time getting him outside again, I told my daughter to stand by the hallway with a broom held straight up in the air.  Her job was to wave the broom and yell if the bird flew too close to the hall.  She took this mission seriously and was such a cute, determined, little helper.  I put my son on a chair by the table so his movements and noise could help discourage the bird from flying into the kitchen.

I decided that the best thing to do was make the open back door the only obvious exit, so I put the blinds down over the windows and covered them with blankets to make them even darker. Then I got another broom, and tried to gently shoo the bird towards the back door. 

But the little bird wasn’t getting the picture!  It flew from the plant shelf to the ceiling fan, to the top of the cabinets, to the curtain rod, to the dining table light, to the silk tree, to the pictures on the wall.  I’m sure all it could think about was getting away from the crazy lady with the broom.  Back and forth it went, over and over again, for half an hour!   

As much as my children were enjoying the spectacle, I was getting really frustrated!  I called my husband in desperation.  He worked a couple miles from home, and said he would be right there, since it was almost lunch time anyway.  Then I sat down by the kids since there was nothing else I could do to help the bird.  We watched the bird fly around and took some pictures so we could show the big kids after they got home from school.  My two-year-old was still SO ecstatic, this was a brilliant bit of fun for him.  He even started saying “brr, brr,” which was the first time I had heard him try to say bird, so adorable! 

Then a lady from church called, so I talked to her for a couple of minutes.  As I hung up, I noticed that the bird was sitting on the top of the open back door.  Just then, I heard the garage door opening, so I knew my husband was home.  I quietly opened the door to meet him.

When I turned around, the bird was gone!  We looked all around the room, and couldn’t find the bird anywhere.  It must have FINALLY flown out the open door while I wasn’t looking.  Figures!  I felt bad that my husband had left work to help me, but he just laughed and teased me that I was trying to get him home early for lunch.  (At least I had pictures to back up my story!) 

After the urgency of getting the bird out of the house was gone, I was strongly impressed with how perfectly this experience illustrates my role as a mother.

Lesson Learned

God sent His children to me and gave me the stewardship to love them, to teach them divine truth. I am striving to provide a nurturing environment for growth, diligently teach them Christ’s gospel, be a good example, and help them learn to recognize and heed the Holy Spirit. I love my children fiercely and I want them to know the joy that comes from living the gospel and following Christ.  I wish I could shield them from every hurt or pain, but that is not the way to let them learn.  Most of the time they have to learn from their own mistakes.

Just as I made the back door the obvious way of escape for the bird, I strive to show my children what it means to be a disciple of Christ and lovingly point the way to Him so they know where redemption can be found. Even though I made the way of salvation very clear for the bird, I could not force it to fly out the door!

I knew the bird needed to go back outside to survive, and that’s what the bird wanted too, but it resisted my every effort to force it in the right direction.  My efforts were interpreted as attacks, and the bird reacted defensively.  Using all its energy to get away from me, it was not able to concentrate on how to get out the door. 

I’ve noticed that my children often act the same way when they feel pressured or forced.  Even though deep down they really want to do what is right, when pushed into a corner, they get caught up in defending themselves and their point of view.  As soon as I stopped trying to make the bird do what I knew was best, the bird found its way outside to freedom.  Don’t my children sometimes do the same thing?

I can teach them the consequences of their choices, and warn them of spiritual dangers, but the choice is ultimately theirs to make.  And they will make mistakes, they will sin, as we all do. But our hope is in our Savior, Jesus Christ; He has the power to will redeem us.

My goal is for each of my children to have their own relationship with the Savior and to truly feel that they are precious children of God.  Then, as they choose to follow Him, they will find grace and strength beyond their own.  I need to get out of the way so the Spirit can work in their hearts; I cannot force the process.  They are His children first and He loves them more than I do.  God is faithful, His grace is sufficient.

Being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done!!  I must give up any illusion of control and have the faith to raise my children up to the Lord, trusting in His care. There are times when I may get frustrated with the choices my children make or wonder if my imperfect efforts will be enough.  But hopefully, I will remember the truth God showed me, through that little bird, and have the patience to trust Him while my children learn to spread their wings and choose to fly into the light.